Wednesday Doesn't Eat Enough to Keep a One-Liner Alive
Skinny professor: John* [a chubby professor] and I started Weight Watchers together at the same time!
*this next one was my favorite!! What a total dork!*
Skinny girl to clerk: Hi, do you have a soy-based, non-dairy substitute for heavy cream?
Girl ordering Coffee Coolatta with skim milk: I hope this tastes as good as it did when I was anorexic. Everything tasted good back then...
Jewish grandmotherly type: Women with anorexia seem to have such strange eating habits.
Anorexic-looking girl: I want a tic tac. I'm hungry. *made me smirk!*
Back in high school I ran with a pretty fun group of people. One of my close friends was Gina. She was a skinny little thing. Well, not so much as short-little, just skinny little. So, one weekend we were hanging out at our friends Tom's house. And, in Tom's house lived, lived Tom's mother! She was infamous for always speaking her mind. She sorta lost her polite-filter long ago, so one always knew to prepare for mild verbal bashing and to never to take what she said to personally.
On that particular weekend Gina happened to come over. She was running around the kitchen and living room acting "special" when in comes Tom's mom, Mary.
Mary: Hey y'all! How is everyone?
Us: Hi, Mrs. Ramos!
Mary: (sees Gina running around and gives her a confused & sympathetic looked) Aye, Gina! You're so skinny! Look at you! Somebody get her a tortilla!!!
We just busted out laughing!!! Good times!