Yesterday: Allow me to set the stage. During my lunch break I head to the gym (alone because earlier that morning I cancelled on Sir Chadwick). I know the routine well enough to know somewhat how to get along alone in the cardio room. So, I hop on the ArcTrainer. I make all the manual adjustments to the machine and get started. Oh, and because Sir Chadwick is out of the picture, for the day, I get to use my handy dandy iPod shuffle. Once I get my favorite tunes going I start pushing. The first 8-10 minutes were ok. No major sweating occurs at this time only a slight glimmer of evidence which points to the oncoming downpour. Sure enough my body starts working and the sweat starts pouring. Because Sir Chadly is nowhere in site I decide to be totally gross and NOT wipe my face of the sweat that is now literally dropping off the edge of my pudgy nose. The constant reaching for my towel, wiping and readjusting of my hand position on the machine is a distraction I don’t feel like messing with at the moment. Plus, in a sick way it was really really cool to see sweat puddle forming on the floor just below me. Ok, enough about the sweat…. I swear I get so distracted!
After a long 30 minutes on the ArcTrainer I hop off and grab the sanitizing wipes provided by the gym to clean up my sweaty mess. In the process of cleaning the machine this lady next to me is trying to start up a conversation but I’m hardly able to speak because my heart is still pounding and I can hardly breathe so she basically gets one word answers to all her questions. I bet she thought I was so rude. I actually feel awful for not talking more to her, maybe God will reintroduce me to her next time I’m in there. Anyhow, back to the story…. From the ArcTrainer I move to treadmill for an expected 15 more minutes of cardio. So, there I go to the treadmill. While waiting for the starting count down on the treadmill I get this slight tummy ach/cramp but it lower than normal so I thought “girlie stuff” must be brewing. The pain goes from slight to sharp in a matter of seconds then subsides quickly so I think I’m pretty much good to go. So, I go. Punch in 3.8 and I’m off.
Somewhere between 4-5 minutes I realize that I instantly “gotta go!” I start to panic because Sir Chadwick has drilled it in my head to never quick an exercise when your heart rate is still pretty high. I was somewhere in the 150’s when this started and I had to get down to the 130’s before I excuse myself. haha! With all my might I’m hanging on. I’m slowly dropping the pace. I’m patiently waiting for my heart rate drop. My body is now screaming. I hope y’all understand the gravity of the situation. When this girl’s gotta go – SHE”S GOTTA GO! So, now I’m walking at a 3.0 and my heart rate is dropping but it seems like it’s taking forever!!! I’m starting to freak out and now I’m sweating. It’s not the sweat you get from working out it’s the cold sweat you get when dread begins to grip your body. AND, to make matters worse because I’m freaking out my heart rate begins to rise!!!! Imagine my confusion! So, after what seems like years I’m finally clear. Long story short……….. I made it.
2 months ago: A group of us are at the GreenHouse and my friend, Robin, asks me “hey, Marcy have you ever worked out so hard that you’ve gotten instant diarrhea?” As most of my good friends know I love a good poopie story yet sadly I didn’t know what she was talking about. My answer to her question was “ummmm, no.” Then she says "It's ok. It'll happen." Then we went on to have a glorious poopie discussion. :)
Well, now I know!!! And, can I just tell you that even in those crazy moments of my life God is still so humorous and faithful. His timing is always perfect. Just imagine. No, seriously imagine how much worse that would’ve been had Sir Chadwick been in the picture. I WOULD HAVE DIED ON THAT TREADMILL because he would’ve pushed me to the end and I wouldn’t have had the guts to say “ummm excuse me Merciless Mike I GOTTA GO!!!” He would’ve scoffed and said “get to moving maggot! This is MY HOUSE! ” Ok, I exaggerate but still….. I would’ve seriously died! ROFL!
I hope y’all enjoyed that one. For those of you who don’t know this side of me…what can I say “I’m special”!
Love you!
2 comments:
That's my girl! Although, you don't know how bad, as I was reading, I was hoping things would turn out for the worse. You would have forever been known as "poopie pants." How great would thata been? At the rate you're going, there should be plenty more "chances." Keep doin' what you're doin'.
Tom,only you would be hoping for worst! However, that would've made for an AWESOME story, huh?!
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