Monday, January 21, 2008

Uncertain Night

It's almost 12am. I took a nap today before small group. I'm semi wired. Sitting here alone with my thoughts is not good for me. I don't have anything exciting to report but I felt like writing. Earlier today I found myself sitting in the parking lot of Mardel's Christian Book Store after just having ended a conversation with my accountilbilty partner. It's so funny how God has used her to speak truth into my life. Had her confronting and sharp words come from anyone else I'm positive my instant reaction would've resulted in verbal vomit....on my part.

Pride. Jealousy. Unbelief. Yup, those are the top three right now. I opened my Bible earlier today and it seemed like the words just washed over my eyes but never landed anywhere in my head. I couldn't absorb anything. I tried to pray but even that seemed so hard. I wonder what's happening right now. I'm afraid to dig into my heart. I secretly don't want to uncover anymore crap. It's inevitable, isn't it?


Kendra said...

Congrats on passing the 50 line! I'm proud of you, sister. We still need to get together. What about on Groundhog day? To celebrate of course!!!

Oh, and I left a little note for you on my blog post. I think you and one other from Denton are the only ones who log directly onto my site, so I'd thought I'd pick on you. =-)

binky ink said...

Hey girl, I tagged you in a Meme on my blog. Check it out and fill it in on your site! : )
Love you chica...besos!

Tracey Clifton said...

Why is it when we are alone God brings us to our knees even when we are kicking and screaming not to go. My friend I won't say her name but initials are Marcy Infante told me once at 5:30 AM on a trail in Denton that if are flat on your face you can read what is in front of you so get on your knees and crawl. At least from there you can see. I love you marc...Its been a big week give yourself a break...Don't take a break I just mean...don't dig at the moment just enjoy the accomplishment and get going to the next. Remember to enjoy the much as possible...your being forged in the fire you won't want to forget on the otherside how you got there. I love you marc