Surrender

It feels like each time something in my life is handed over it's only a matter of time before I start playing with it again, make it my own, tighten my grip on it and struggle to (re)release it.

*sigh* will I EVER learn?!

I desperately crave sugar. I even dream about it... seriously! who dreams about kit kats?!?! who?!

A confession is in order...I haven't done as well as I hoped I would do with the man fast. I haven't gone head first and started dating anyone or anything, but I've certainly tip toped with flirtations and played with more fire than I know should've been permissible.

It's late and I'm both physically and emotionally tired. I have 4 months left of on this fast and i'm scared that when July rolls around I'll be the same person, junk still intact and heart still festering with 'ewwwwness'.

sorry for the wah post.... I'm going to bed now.