Saturday, October 27, 2007

Recent Encouragement! (looooong post)

Should've posted this on Wednesday....

Got to the gym today and found Mike (trainer) sitting out in one of the park benches eating his lunch. It was certainly a beautiful day. The air was crisp and the sun was shining. The wind was gentle yet firm - hard to explain. Headed in the gym to warm up but ended up having to make a pit stop in the ladies room. I know TMI! And, As I walked out of the ladies room I noticed Mike sitting in the waiting area for me. Embarrassing. I hope he wasn't waiting for me for a long while cause I was "occupied". We bypass the treadmills and head straight for the great outdoors. Of all the days to walk outside today was the perfect day!

He naturally sets the pace. We held to basic conversations about people we know, trash talking each other, and simple questions about each others likes and dislikes. As we near our regular turning point I notice that he continues past it. He looks back at me with a mischievous grin on his face. He likes to keep me on my toes and I like order! Monkey wrenches don't fare well in my life so I try to keep everything in my control. However, I've gotten to a point in our workouts where I trust him. I think he's got a good idea of my limitations and strength, maybe more so than I give him credit for. As we approach the end of our first leg, literally it was the end because the sidewalk ended, we turn around and he claps his hands and says "ok, now it's time to get down to business". I thinking... business?! what do you call this!? I've been in the business!! Apparently I wasn't because he stepped it up and continued to step it up.

Walking got faster and faster. He corrected my body position over and over until I finally got it. Tighten your abs. Squeeze your glutes. Lean forward a bit. Sounds easy enough but it adds to a great workout. I started to find myself breathless but my legs didnt hurt. My legs didn't hurt!! I had energy! I was motivated and just when I thought we were approaching our stopping point I asked "hey do you think we could cool down outside?" He looks over his shoulder and says "what makes you think we're finished?" I should've known! When we reached our original starting point, he makes a wide turn and begins to head back out on the trail. I must've given him a surprised/confused look cause he just smiled and kept walking.

I followed.

The pace was slightly slower but still brisk. I'm good. My breathing is starting to level out and still no pain anywhere. We walk alittle less than half of the way back and he tells me to take a quick break. The spot that he chose was perfect because it was under two trees that provided the perfect amount of shade. He asks how I felt. As I thought about his question I couldn't quite think of the words to describe how I was feeling other than to say "I feel great. Or Say, it's like wow! Or cool!" Because I felt all those things all at the same time. My limbs felt heavy yet my body felt energized and I could swear there was this weird buzzing in my body. The wind pushed past us just enough to cool us down without freezing us out.

As the break ended he said "Ok, push yourself hard. Pound it out. Just pound it out. Yell or make noise if you have." I had no idea what he was talking about. "Pound it out?" What does that mean? "Yell it out?" I was confused and concerned. Just how painful was this last leg going to be? Let me just tell you... It was hard! AND It was satisfying! I couldn't have gone any faster without jogging. He made some joke about running sprints and I told him that he if could get me to run and run well that I'd do just about anything for him. and i mean it! I would! I've always wanted to run. The last time I ran was when I was 12. My family was in Mexico and my siblings and I were at some park in downtown Merida. I don't know why we were running but we ran so hard that my legs went numb. It was exhilarating. I've missed it for so many years. So, if Mike can help me to run again I pretty much will do anything within my power for him.

I don't know how long it took us to finish but I do know that the last 5 minutes were hard. So hard!! He pushed me the entire way by encouraging me to pound harder, walk faster, continue my pace and not fall behind, not to give up. He clapped for me. And, I felt like I was accomplishing something great. When I reached my finish line he guided me through this empty parking lot adjacent to a park. Our pace slowly slowed and my breathing settled. I can't remember what we talked about because my insides were screaming GLORY! I wanted to throw my hands up in the air and worship my Lord. I wanted to walk over this grassy area and fall on my face. Our Father felt so real to me at the moment and all I could do was walk in silence. The forming lump in my throat was making it hard for me to breathe. All I could do was smile to myself. Gratitude. Appreciation. Overwhelming joy. I wondered why our God and Father would be so faithful to me. Mike is faithful to our Lord by serving me so diligently and My Lord is so faithful to me... faithful to me?!?!! A girl who's so incredibly unfaithful, selfish, jealous, envious, and unappreciative. Why Lord?! Why would you love me so much?

I briefly shared my last thought with Mike and he suggested that we head over to a park bench to talk. The entire way to the bench I had to keep myself from crying. Crying out in mercy and overwhelming joy for my Father. When we got to the bench and seated ourselves I asked for a moment. After a quick mental praise we started talking. He again praised me for my hardworking efforts. Asked me how I felt physically, & mentally. I could hardly speak without crying. I hate that about myself. I'm so sentimental! I love that I can openly praise our Lord in front of him without being shy or worried that he'll think I'm nuts- he's a believer too by the way. After I shared how I felt, I asked him something that's been on my mind for so long. I wanted to know why he pours so much time into me. Why he gets up so early in the morning to meet me at the gym. Why?! It doesnt make sense to me! It really doesnt make sense to me because that form of service is so unreal. I know service. I serve. I love my girls but it would be hard for me to get up on my days off to meet them at the gym but Mike lays it out, he puts it all out there for the Lord. Humbling. Yes, humbling is the only thing that comes to mind.

He said that he does it because I inspire him. He says that I make it easy for him to get up in the morning because he knows how hard I work. and how dedicated I am. As a trainer he couldnt ask for more. Also, says that I'm fun to hang out with. I dont really remember what else he said because my head was swimming. If only he knew I worked so because he motivates me to work hard. If only he knew that because I know how much time and effort he puts into training me causes me to make better choices when I eat or workout alone. Because of the accountability that he provides I love and respect him enough to not let him down. God, yet again, orchestrated a perfect partnership. So, I shared my heart with him and told him pretty much everything I just fore mentioned. His response: "good then I'll just work harder!" :)

God's timing is always perfect. God's timing is ALWAYS perfect! I'm leaving my first 30 years behind me now. I look forward to freedom. I look forward to the day of full restoration. I look forward to loving and serving our Lord completely.

"Who among the gods is like you, O LORD ? Who is like you— majestic in holiness, awesome in glory, working wonders? Exodus 15:11


The Rozell Family said...

Enjoyed this post! you're awesome! Yah, lets walk/jog sometime!

Em Rozell

Robin said...

Marcy--you really are so INSPIRING and I want you to know that I teared up reading your post because of your beautiful emotions and passion for God and for life. I love you girl!

hwapper said...

Wow, I'm speechless... Good job Marcy, life change is never easy and this is what you're going through, a life change.

nicole said...

Okay-not many things make me cry or misty eyed, but your post took me there. Good job on making it through that walk! Maybe we can go for a jog/walk one day. Proud of you! Keep it up!

p.s. WHAT the heck did you eat that caused you to be "occupied" for so long?

KimBeau Hughes said...

Marcy! This post was so encouraging! Your progress is so amazing, physically and spiritually. It is so cool to watch. Thanks for also giving me a little boost as a trainer this week as I begin to wonder if my job has any point.
Look forward to catching up. Email me when you can hang!

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